Hauntingly Poignant Sexual Tension.

Once again, Mistresses has incited in me that gut wrenching feeling of empathy (in this case, with Siobhan) which inevitably leads to tears. I say inevitably, but what I mean is, those stirred up feelings make me want to cry but I've managed to surpress the tell tale tears in Pots' presence.

Alone tonight, I got upset at the scene where Siobhan recoils from her husband, Hari's passionate sexual advances. She's too distressed to hide the body language and facial expressions which reveal her feeling of dread...........repulsion almost.

It's not that the husband is an adulterous letch who's offerering her a free dose of the clap whilst he executes his conjugal rights. Nor is he some follically challenged, ogre like creature. He's kind, gentle, compassionate, attractive, stylish, trustworthy and lots of other nice things. Perhaps that's the problem; he's just too nice.

The seemingly libidoless wife however, harbours feelings of guilt and he'd see it in her eyes if she'd allow him to gaze into them for more than a second or two. She's tormented by the knowledge that her orgasms are better when she's masturbating alone, thinking about another man. She feels guilty because the man she shouldn't be thinking about keeps popping into her head; on hearing the words Lee, Harrow, Sue, red+hot, Casio, Haberdashers, go-kart, Fifi, Thor, property, (et al); driving through the Jewish area on the way into town; when she hears anything by the Turin Brakes or watches a John Cusack film; passing a Saab 93 convertible or a Subaru with 'picnic table' spoiler; walking past any man with a goatee, glasses and a #1-2 head shave..........amounting to dozens of times over the course of a day.

I seem to have deviated from the plot slightly, but you get the picture. Pots was right about there not being enough room in my life for two men - the 3rd party in our marriage may never have had a physical presence, but his cerebral existence has certainly made its mark. It haunts me still and I don't know how to exorcise it.

Siobhan's 'solution' has been to have illicit sex without the complicated emotional strings. I wonder what the script writer has in store for me?