Inspired by Anna

In one sense, I'm feeling quite calm at the moment. There haven't been any major frustration fuelled bouts of anger or floods of tears. In fact, I've cried very little in the last few weeks. My new found fad for blogging has helped distract my mind from its usual pattern of thought. If I could get my pop-up blocker to allow me to download pics on here, I'd post a drawing of that pattern. I can't, but if you imagine a series of interlaced figures of 8, you'll get the picture. I keep turning corners but ultimately end up back where I started.

I must confess however, to shedding a few tears today. Not, I'm pleased to say, through frustration or pain but I did up up blubbing when I read Anna's account of her own mid-life crisis. Her motivations for writing are so similar to my own, that many of her words really hit home. Hence the tears. A salty mixture of relief and empathy.

I realise that my blogs to date sound random and confused. Probably because they're a reflection of my state of mind. Things often seem that way when you're only given half the picture. My own journey of investigation over the past 3 years has finally provided me with more than half the picture for the souvenir postcard, albeit a little blurry, but I'm still uncertain about its final destination.

Inspired by Anna, my future blogs will hopefully help readers understand the reasons behind my feelings. They may even result in me breaking away from this loop of boredom, mourning and frustration.